A Friend’s Perspective

I am blessed with friends from a variety of backgrounds; thank goodness!  I think it would be so limiting to be part of a group overly similar in age, taste, political persuasion, etc.   When people with a range of life experiences are part of a conversation, they bring an array of perspectives to the table.  Interactions become more interesting and enlightening.

Some of my friends are the children of people I’ve known for years.  They were once the little kids playing in the background at our get-togethers, but who are now adults themselves.  I guess they are my second generation friends.  It is enjoyable to see them come into their own.

I want to bring to your attention the exquisite photography of my second generation friend, Ashley, a gifted artist, who is receiving national recognition for her work.  Visit her blog at: http://bottlebellphotography.blogspot.com

Beating the Unemployment Blues

As I wrote in my last posting, I am currently an unemployed job-seeker. Instead of going to a place of employment every day, I go to my computer and check websites for intriguing new job listings.  When I find a good match for my skills and experience, I submit an application.  Then I wait.  Follow-up.  Wait.  Keep looking. Over time, this can be a discouraging state of being, and some of the unemployed give up.

People are often so defined by their work, and get their personal sense of success from it, that it can be a blow to their self-esteem to lose a job.  That is one reason that I am taking action during this temporary out-of-work time to stay connected with people and to keep learning new things.  When I went back to college a few years ago, I discovered that the most rewarding benefit of returning to school is the sense of accomplishment and confidence that comes from it. 

I have been taking writing classes at The Loft Literary Center in Minneapolis.  One of the classes was The Art of the Blog, and you are reading a result of that class right now.  I am also writing about the travels my husband and I have taken over the years for my current Essays on Journeys class. I also joined a local writing group. This is just another stage of my ongoing midlife transformation. I find that this investment in myself helps to keep me engaged in interests other than just looking for work, and enables me to meet new people with similar interests.   I am confident and enthusiastic about what is going on in my life.  That is not only good for the way I feel about myself now, but I am pretty sure that when the right job comes along, my future employer will pick up on my positive energy and want to hire me.

For Hire: Knowledge and Experience

I am one of the faces of real people behind the sky-high unemployment statistics this year.  I have been looking for a new job, but as anybody who is doing the same can attest, it is difficult to make progress in this environment. Many of us in the midlife age range are concerned that hiring managers may not recognize the value we can bring to their organization.

I spent the past two days at a workshop on “Creative Job Search” (sponsored by the State of Minnesota) and was very pleased to receive helpful suggestions and strategies.  Besides the valuable information about resumes, interviews, online searches, etc., I especially appreciated the facilitators’ positive approach to midlife workers.  One said that many employers are passionate about 50+ workers because they bring a background, a reference point for making vital decisions, with them into a job.  As older boomers retire, there will be gaps in knowledge, and experienced workers are needed to bridge those gaps. I am happy to hear that!  I am enthusiastic to find a job that is the right fit for me, and for an employer who needs what I can bring to the table.

Julia Child Cooks!

I have always been a big fan of Julia Child.  She is truly inspiring for having influenced the way Americans not only cook, but think about food.  An article about Julia in the current (August 2009) issue of Vanity Fair magazine made me appreciate the impact she has had on so many of us.

 I watched her on public television, not only in her later years – she hosted other chefs on her show in the 1990’s – but earlier too, when I was still at home growing up in the 1960’s.  I remember my mother making beef bourguignon in that era.  Some of Julia’s techniques must have rubbed off on me too.  Today I like to create dishes with a roux base, and sometimes I cook with wine (a little for the pot, a little for me).

 Julia’s life story is fascinating.  During World War II she worked for the O.S.S. (which later became the C.I.A.) She had her own midlife transformation: she learned French cooking in her late 30’s, worked on the classic cookbook Mastering the Art of French Cooking in her 40’s, and started teaching the masses on her first PBS television show at age 49.

 By the way, according to Laura Jacobs’ article in Vanity Fair, Julia loved the 1978 Saturday Night Live spoof of her starring Dan Ackroyd.  I laughed until I cried the first time I saw that skit, and still crack up during the many times it has aired since then.  Now I am looking forward to a new movie, Julie and Julia, starring Meryl Streep as Julia Child, due out next month.  In the meantime, to quote Julia, “Bon Appetit!”

Feisty Women – Check this out

I love to check out other blogs geared to midlife women, and I found a gem that I want to share with you.  Here is a link to: Feisty Side of Fifty/ Baby Boomer Women.  The perspective you’ll find there complements the midlife transformation theme of choosing to live the life we want to be living, and taking action to make it happen.  A positive self-image and attitude toward our current age and condition (and good humor!) is essential to creating our own destiny rather than letting others define us. 

 One of the “Feisty Side” posts I especially related to was Women Over Fifty – Rockin’ On Forever. When I am in the car and the all of a sudden Hey Jude, Satisfaction, or Layla comes on the radio, I know that I’ll go through the rest of the day with a smile on my face and rocking music in my soul. What songs transport you to your inner rocker?

What is Your Passion?

  Exactly five years ago today, my husband and I were visiting Key West, and I snorkeled for the first time.  I LOVED it! 

It was so beautiful underwater. I was immediately entranced with the life in a coral reef.  The majestic purple corals swayed gently. Colorful fish swam under and around me; for a time I was surrounded by a school of blue tang.  And did I mention the fact that I saw a shark, and took its picture underwater? (True. I was acutely aware that we were in it’s environment, not a park!) It was like entering Nemo’s world, but that would be giving the Disney animators too much credit.  They are wonderful artists, but humans can never achieve the intensity and perfection of color and form that exists in nature, the ultimate art crafted by the Creator.

Our original snorkeling experience was a planned excursion, but I loved it so much that we found two more opportunities to snorkel on that same vacation in the Keys, and have since snorkeled in Hawaii.  One thing I learned was to take advantage of the chances in life that come my way; I may never know in advance when an interest or a curiosity can become a true passion!  

Another thing I learned was to be as prepared as possible to have an experience as ideal as possible.  I didn’t realize until my snorkeling trips in the Keys how big a role having the proper equipment is.  On the first trip, I happened to have a snorkel mask with a tube that had a little valve on the end that didn’t allow the sea water to come in. (The masks were handed out at random to the group on the boat).  While I was out in the water enjoying my experience, others in my party had already gone back to the boat with snoots full of salt water.  On another trip, the boat did not have enough fins in my size, so I had to painfully use the too-small pair that was left.  Now, we have our own equipment to haul with us for vacations that feature a snorkeling experience.  Another possible option would be to rent equipment at a local dive shop before going out in the boat.

What are your passions?  What would you like to experience or learn in order to cultivate the excitement of something new or fulfilling?  I know of midlife women who are developing their passion for the arts, holistic health, or politics, to name just a few possibilities.  My delight in snorkeling is an offshoot of my passion for travel (which is a topic onto itself, which I’ll write about in a future posting).  

If you haven’t taken any steps yet toward developing that aspiration you have always harbored inside yourself, or if you want to try something different that you just might LOVE, now is the time to take steps to make it happen.  Open yourself up to the experience.  Be as prepared as possible to get maximum enjoyment out of the occasion with the right conditions, equipment, background knowledge, and so on.  (You may want to work with a Vision and an Action Plan; see my earlier postings on the Midlife Transformation Program Essentials).  But don’t just dream it – take action.  Live your dreams.

Social Media: Facebook, RSS, and More

Are you social media savvy?  If you don’t know what I am talking about, then maybe you’re not. Some people don’t want anything to do with putting themselves out there in the cyberworld.  It can be unsettling, and there have been abuses, so I understand and respect that. 

If you are like me, you are making an effort to communicate online.  I think this is just the tip of the iceberg of what social networking will be in the future, although I think it will look a lot different then.  But, I want to get my toe in the water now, so I don’t get rolled over by the wave.

First of all, there is Facebook.  What can you say?  If Facebook was a country, it would be the fifth most populous nation on earth!  And guess who comprises the fastest growing demographic on Facebook? Women over 55! Whether or not you are part of that demographic, it says something about who is now using this popular form of social networking. I love to see what my friends and relatives are doing.  I especially enjoy viewing photos and updates of my nieces, nephews, and other young people in my life who are my Facebook “friends.” If you have been cautious about online privacy, and haven’t made the leap yet, know that here are privacy settings on Facebook that might increase your comfort level.

Besides Facebook, I am signed up with LinkedIn, a site for business networking and job hunting.  I have not signed up for Twitter, because I really don’t see the personal benefits at this time.  You already know I blog, because that is where I am posting this piece. I also enjoy reading blogs, those of my friends and others I have come across, and I like to revisit them occasionally for updates.

Recently I learned about RSS, meaning Really Simple Syndication according to Wikipedia, which allows you to view updates to your frequently visited sites in one place. (You may have seen the letters RSS or its graphic symbol on websites or blogs). I am too new to it to explain it well, but luckily I don’t have to!  There are people at  CommonCraft.com who will explain RSS (and other social media subjects) in a 3-minute long video online.  This site was featured in Nick Summer’s article titled “Technology for Dummies” in the June 1, 2009 issue of Newsweek magazine.  After viewing it, I signed up with Google Reader , but there are other sites that serve this purpose also.  If you decide to sign up with RSS, I hope you’ll add the blog you are reading now: www.shelleyo.wordpress.com to your subscription list.

Whatever you choose to do – or not do – online, I think it is a good idea to “Google” yourself once in awhile to see what your online presence, if any, is like.  You may discover something unexpected, and may want to make changes to something that others can find online.  I like to live my life in a spirit of no surprises! 

I would love to hear what you have to say about this subject.  Any comments?  Let’s discuss!

Enjoy Life – and Show the Love

In the past two weeks, my husband and I have lost three family members.  All were from the generation ahead of us.  As we mourn their passing, we also celebrate their lives. We enjoy the company of family from near and far away.

It is a reminder to me that our time here on earth is fleeting, and the end can come quickly. It is too easy to go with a daily routine, and let the simple pleasures slip away. Don’t put off fishing, or hiking, or getting together with friends, or teaching a kid something new (or letting a kid teach us something new!) It is important to find the joy every day, living a fully realized life and being a positive influence on ourselves and others.

Take time to see and appreciate Aunts, Uncles, and others who have come before us, and helped shape who we are. Enjoy the company of friends and family, young and old, who we are blessed to have in our lives. Remember to show the love.

It’s Never Too Late to Graduate…

Two years ago I celebrated my graduation from college (30-some years after I entered the University of Minnesota after high school!)  I had can coolers printed with the words, “It’s never too late… To Educate! To Communicate! To Graduate! To Celebrate!”  I was so happy to have all the schoolwork behind me, and to finally put away to rest one of the few regrets of my life, that I had not finished college.

Today, I tip my cap to all of the people graduating this spring, including three of the wonderful women who shared with me that college and graduation experience.  After we graduated, they decided to keep going with their higher education, even though they all had jobs and families.  The results: this weekend a Masters of Communication degree will be conferred upon each of them. Congratulations, friends. You have earned it!

I can assure anybody who may be thinking of going back to college at midlife that there will be costs, but I believe the benefits are so worth it.

Costs:

• Money that can be hard to come by.
• Less time with family and friends.
• Jobs that don’t wait.
• A body that spends too much time sitting behind a computer.

Adults in college already have a full life; some midlife students have to deal with loss of a job, health issues, family problems, etc. while they pursue their education.  

Benefits:

• An opportunity to earn more money, or to earn it in a more rewarding profession, or to at least have the degree in your toolbox in case it is needed.
• Family and friends who step up and take care of things without as much of your attention (knowing you’re still there, and respecting your efforts).
• Your brain is engaged in performing at a different level (I felt mine was like a classic car being lubed and restored!)
• The chance to do your job better because of what you’ve learned.

The most rewarding benefit is the sense of accomplishment that comes from being able to manage a challenging situation. It is the confidence that you can handle lots of things; you can take on whatever life puts in your path. It is feeling good about being able to stretch beyond your former boundaries, to make a difference in your own life and the lives of others.     

Have you ever considered seeking further education at this point in your life?  In an upcoming posting we will brainstorm this subject, and come up with ideas for an action plan on how to proceed.  In the meantime, congratulations to all graduates!

Strength, wisdom and purpose

One of the joys of reaching a place in our lives where we have experienced years of working, family life, health issues, delights and heartbreaks is the insight we have acquired about ourselves.  We know what we find to be enjoyable and enriching or harmful and wrong.  We seek personal fulfillment and growth, whether it is to learn how to play the piano for our own pleasure, find a more rewarding occupation, get healthier, or speak out for world peace.  As we move forward, we can benefit from a little fuel for the voyage, or a shot for our self-esteem: writings of other women.

 Suzanne Braun Levine’s book, Inventing the Rest of Our Lives: Women in Second Adulthood, greatly influenced me on my transformation journey. When I was reading it, I felt like I was part of a large wave of midlife women who were finding a sense of purpose and destiny.  It was similar to the sense of self awareness and possibility I felt when I attended my first Women’s Liberation meeting at the University of Minnesota in 1971.  Levine writes about women experiencing, “a desire to make contact with one’s authentic self and tap into true passion there.”  She helps us see how to go about doing so.

 Another book about women finding personal fulfillment is Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D.’s Crones Don’t Whine: Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women, one of several books Bolen has written.   She makes a case for reclaiming the term crone, as it refers to a woman’s potential for developing inner wisdom.  She says a crone, “has a sense of truly being herself, can express what she knows and feels, and take action when need be…She has learned to trust herself to know what she knows.”  I have come back to this concept on more than one occasion when I felt hesitation about proceeding about something.  It inspires a sense of empowerment that helps keep me moving forward on my transformation journey. 

 Both of these books are listed in the Bibliography on my Resources page.